Author Archives: Evita

Heaven was needing a hero

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Your Tio Claudio died Baby girl. He was my very best friend, he was always there for me, to advise, to laugh and cry with me, to lean on. He loved me and he loved you. You have some beautiful letters from here in Letters from Ohana. He was family.

I have been talking now for weeks with Tio Pino y Tia Rosy. Claudio was all that time in hospice but he was unable to talk. We used to send him videos, short messages. Pino said he liked looking at them but it was so difficult for me to do because what do you tell to a friend who is dying? Rosy and laura asked for happy messages. We tried to take some sadness away, we talked garbage, we tried to make him feel the part of our every day life and more than anything we let him know that we think of him and love him. But I never addressed the seriousness of his situation apart from one message but don’t know if Rosy showed it to him. I felt like I can’t just ignore how sick he is and that he may not recover.

At that time we knew there is no chance for recovery and he suspected it too. Then he understood there is no more hope. We stopped making our short videos because we were told Claudio just cries when he sees us on the video message.

It wasn’t long though before they would start sedating him heavily so by the time he dies he was hardly present.

It has to be so difficult for his family, his two sisters and his mum! I got very close to Rosy and Pino. I hope we will remain close and i hope baby that for you these people will become a bit like Tio Claudio.

Thank you for being so good and supportive. You are so lucky you had an uncle like tio Claudio. I always hope he will be always in your life because it’s a person from who you could have learned so much

Treasure you memories of him

Let’s keep him in our hearts baby girl, let him be your Guardian Angel. I would trust him with your life. Now each time we are separated whenever i worry about you I will say “Claudio, you better make sure our baby girl, your Nieta is safe”

Be safe and remember your Guardian Angel

15 letters

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so in one month you will be 3 my sweet little girl

You are cheeky, you break a cup and when I tell you “that was such a nice cup baby, just look at it” your answer is “it’s not that nice anymore Mummie”

You are clever. You speak quite a sophisticated English and considering you didn’t speak any at all last year in November and all you learned was in last half a year it is pretty damn good

You know 14 letters of the alphabet and it’s most cute thing to see you say it and “perform”

You are very big on “friends”. Friends becme important to you

you have a huge imagination and

you sleep through the night without wetting your bed and without needing to go to the toilet

while other kids demand or don’t see reason you are most of the time very polite which sometimes is quite infuriating when you say ” no thank you Mummie”  to things you “have to do” like taking your medicine but one can always negotiate with you and reason with you,. It has been like this for the last year. If you are given a choice and we make you promise something you agree and keep your promise and this is just awesome

 

You are such a joy and I love you to bits!!

 

Your Mum and often your “baby” because you love to pretend with me that you are the mum and I am the baby. How crazy and wonderful it is to rest my head on my baby’s lap and she strokes me to sleep and sings to me pretending she is my mum. Sorry I wrote so little but you keep me busy my love

so much in love

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You are now 1 and a half years old sweetheart, really switched on, clever little cookie. You are full of life and you demand heaps of attention all the time. We love you so much. Doesn’t matter you just learned how to say “up!” and “move!” and you use it very well to our disadvantage, bossy little thing that you are.

Dad is often waking up earlier so you spend some time with him in the morning but I can’t sleep much longer because I can hear your little voice soon saying “mummy” and I am wide awake and my body aches to cuddle you. You run into the bedroom pushing past your dad and we all cuddle and lie in bed, then you demand milk and jump in front of us saying “up!” and “Mlkkk!”and supporting your demands with hand gestures. “up, up” you call and drag one or the other out of bed and to the fridge.

When we are in the kitchen you come and decide to play with things on the shelves and in the drawers and command “move” every few seconds so we give you access to the spaces you need to reach. Not very helpful I can tell you.

But any even toughest day you compensate with so much love and sparkly fun. For instance you tickle the feet of a grown-up and say ‘didlydidlydidlydeeeee’ or you want to be entertained by the large box with moving pictures and bring the Telecommander accompanied by ‘DudlyDudlyDudlyDoooo’.

So now you are fully potty trained although for some reason whilst you don’t have any accidents with us when you stay with other aunties or in childcare you do. Is it as a sign or protest?  You are happy to stay with other people and they all love you. You have two local aunties Victoria and Tuaine and Katja and Eugene. You stayed with Katja and Eugene when we went to Aitutaki and from how they talk about you and everything you did looked like they really enjoyed themselves with you, uncle Eugene was head over heels about you, you old charmer.

Whenever we come to pick you up though you run to us ready to leave, however much fun you had with others who sometimes spoil you to bits, you are ready to go. Oh no, wait – you say and look around and gather all your belongings. It’s the sweetest thing ever. You little person, pulling your bag and carrying your drink bottle. Now you are ready to go. You know where you belong and what is yours and you take care of it.

You now often wake up at night for mimi. Sometimes we sit you on your potty just before we go to sleep and you don’t wake up but somehow you register that you are on the potty and you pee and we have to hold you because you are completely limp. We put you then to your cot and you continue to sleep and burble a narrative of whatever is going on in your dreams.

Every one of these silly little things seems to a parent like a magical moment and it is so because your parents are so much in love with you

There are new photos – 1.5 year old now in your gallery  http://www.haumea.ws/1-year/

 

There was a little girl once

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She was beautiful, smart and full of overwhelming energy. She was bright and curious, always discovering, always taking up new challenges, always engaged and engaging.  It was amazing to watch her learn and play, to be close to her. Suddenly every day became new in such a big way, different, exciting.  One day it might have been her grabbing the spoon for the first time, pushing it into her little mouth the wrong way round and not letting anyone take it away from her and correct it. The other day it might have been her taking a tissue, cleaning a bit of food from the floor like she saw her parents do when she dropped something, then wiping her nose in the same piece.  Suddenly you understand what growing up is, how you learn on mistakes by walking around with a piece of food rubbed in your nose, how we always need challenge and we can’t give up just because it doesn’t work the first time, how we learn every single day.

She is a year old now. The moment she is away I  miss her and when I have her close to me it made my heart swell with love for the whole world. I hate when she goes just like one day I know I will hate seeing her leave but I want her to be open to everything, experience as much as she can, have other people to have an influence on her too, to add to her life, to make it richer.  I love her too bits. She is my daughter.  Of course I would say all of this – she is my daughter but even when I try really really hard to look at her from the distance, unpassionately, objectively, I still see a very beautiful, bright and intelligent little being, someone very special. This little girl is you – Haumea. You have so much in you. You have so much character, charisma, intelligence and beauty.  Don’t let it go to waste.  You also have trends that may lose you some chances, you have a strong character but you always have to work on it.  You are not like other babies I have seen – laid back, docile.  You are a power, strength, fire – things that are good when channeled well but also dangerous when you let them rule your life.

One day you will be a young woman – probably even more impatient, anxious, stubborn.  Please, remember then that there is noone in the whole world and will never be, who loves you as much as we do and who knows you as much as we do – knows your history, your creation, your being.  I hope one day you will meet someone who will love you almost as much, who will see good things in you, who will help you grew in a different way, love everything in you which is there worth loving and there is and will be a lot.  Don’t waste you time on anyone who will not appreciate these things but also don’t be with anyone who will let you get away with not making the best use of them and with not controlling those challenging bits.

You are one now and this year was a real gift to someone who never cared about children, who never knew about beauty of motherhood, power of mother’s love, happiness and pride the child fills your life with.  I am so happy you are in my life baby girl

 

 

1 year old

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portraits 1 year old

Atiu Adventure

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Atiu, Cook Islands 2013

On a slippery road

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07-P1050483She is right on her way to her first Birthday, our beautiful clever Cookie girl. Does it pay off to have a clever child? She started walking at 10.5, at 11 months she was running around, climbing steps, letting herself bum first of the sofa, spinning around. her enthusiasm and curiosity always amazes us. She tries to put everything that looks slightly edible or chewable into her mouth apart from things she is really unsure off – she brings them to us shows them and looks expectantly waiting for verdict. She know most of her food now and there is no banana, nu or guava that would skip her attention. She shakes, screams points at it and commands “that”. It was enough to leave her for a couple of hours with her island mama and papa who watched TV and she realised that the remote control serves for changing the channels. She also knew that the closer she comes to the TV the easier it gets.

33-P1050517She now tries to dress herself making us laugh when she tries to slip on her tiny foot her dad’s flip flop or sock.There are three items of clothes I put on her when we go to the beach – top, white cotton panties and white cotton hat. after I put the top on her she picked the white cotton panties, presumably thinking it’s her hat, placed it on her head and proudly paraded in it pointing at the door – ready to hit the beach

so is it always so great? Today she decided to mimic her dad and wash the windows just as he did – resulting in big smudges made with tiny hands on just polished glass. She is getting better in using the toilet, now she stopped even clapping top herself when she makes a pipi, it became normal, but now she thinks she advanced to the next level. seeing her parents picking the inlay of the potty to flash in the toilet she decided to do the same. She managed to pick up the inside part lift it and walk to the toilet with it. Unfortunately she was stopped there by her mum who followed wet traces on the floor.

Now should I applause the initiative or tell her off for decorating the tiles with her mimi?

She is on the road to become a clever little one year old – slippery road it is

 

61-P1050411

 

Oma und Opa

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You and us, your parents, had a nice visit. We all enjoyed your grandparents staying here for the whole 5 weeks.

The first week, even though you were friendly and curious you scared your grandma a bit when you wanted to be with your mum and only with your mum, specially in the evenings when you were getting tired and needy.

18-P1040780You would laugh with your Oma and Opa, extend your hand to them trying to get their attention, ‘chat them up’ but when either of them wanted to take you in their arms you would cling onto your mama and not let go.  this made them at first a bit apprehensive about taking you for sleep overs but few days later they took the risk.

I knew that even though it looks so hard and you were getting so upset when I tried to give you to anyone else, even to your dad, few moments after i am gone you would go normal again and soon get used to new situation and lovely.  This is exactly what has happened. So you stayed for a night with your opa and Oma and give them all that joy you give us every morning.

They were playing with you and teaching you new things, you had long walks and fun in the water, they would sing you, potty train you and do all the things grandparents do with such a joy, love and patience that your parents sometimes lack.

I missed you each time you were away but we were able to enjoy the adult time an for this we were also so grateful. Sometimes it is difficult to have a little cheeky curious time and attention demanding little monkey like you with all the aunties, uncles and grandparents far away in Europe.  So we enjoyed each other, long bubbly breakfasts, adult discussions, long swims while you were enjoying every precious minute with two people who love you very much and came all this way to see you.

Your opa was hoping that next time you see them on skype video call you would recognise them and respond to them.  Sure enough you got very excited, even if just for few minutes as soon you were distracted with all the stuff on the table and the computer keyboards and on a mission somewhere but these first couple of minutes you spend looking at your grandparents and calling to them and you even looked behind the computer too see if they are not hiding somewhere there.  You will see them soon again and not just on the screen. Bet they can’t wait,,,

from crawling to walking

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portraits 6 -12months