She was beautiful, smart and full of overwhelming energy. She was bright and curious, always discovering, always taking up new challenges, always engaged and engaging. It was amazing to watch her learn and play, to be close to her. Suddenly every day became new in such a big way, different, exciting. One day it might have been her grabbing the spoon for the first time, pushing it into her little mouth the wrong way round and not letting anyone take it away from her and correct it. The other day it might have been her taking a tissue, cleaning a bit of food from the floor like she saw her parents do when she dropped something, then wiping her nose in the same piece. Suddenly you understand what growing up is, how you learn on mistakes by walking around with a piece of food rubbed in your nose, how we always need challenge and we can’t give up just because it doesn’t work the first time, how we learn every single day.
She is a year old now. The moment she is away I miss her and when I have her close to me it made my heart swell with love for the whole world. I hate when she goes just like one day I know I will hate seeing her leave but I want her to be open to everything, experience as much as she can, have other people to have an influence on her too, to add to her life, to make it richer. I love her too bits. She is my daughter. Of course I would say all of this – she is my daughter but even when I try really really hard to look at her from the distance, unpassionately, objectively, I still see a very beautiful, bright and intelligent little being, someone very special. This little girl is you – Haumea. You have so much in you. You have so much character, charisma, intelligence and beauty. Don’t let it go to waste. You also have trends that may lose you some chances, you have a strong character but you always have to work on it. You are not like other babies I have seen – laid back, docile. You are a power, strength, fire – things that are good when channeled well but also dangerous when you let them rule your life.
One day you will be a young woman – probably even more impatient, anxious, stubborn. Please, remember then that there is noone in the whole world and will never be, who loves you as much as we do and who knows you as much as we do – knows your history, your creation, your being. I hope one day you will meet someone who will love you almost as much, who will see good things in you, who will help you grew in a different way, love everything in you which is there worth loving and there is and will be a lot. Don’t waste you time on anyone who will not appreciate these things but also don’t be with anyone who will let you get away with not making the best use of them and with not controlling those challenging bits.
You are one now and this year was a real gift to someone who never cared about children, who never knew about beauty of motherhood, power of mother’s love, happiness and pride the child fills your life with. I am so happy you are in my life baby girl