OMG, I am so filed with love. Perhaps overfilled with love, it keeps spilling out. Your dad always keeps giving me more reasons to love him more but you have opened me to that, until now, unknown kind of love. I just came back from the vaccination, I loved you when you cried and hurt with you and it really really hurt me when you felt the pain. You see the other person I love with no limits is your dad and I feel bad for him when he doesn’t feel good, I feel sympathetic and I want him to feel better, I am sad about his pain but I do not suffer with him.

With you it’s so different. I would so much rather feel your pain instead of you and it hurts me too. And I love you

Then I love you again when you stop crying and are being really brave and strong, then I hold you and you snuggle up to me, put your head on my breast, turn towards me so no one else can see your face. I love you again.

Your dad said he keeps falling in love with me over and over again each day and sometimes I ask him so today? And he tells me yes, several times and I ask when and sometimes there are the most funny or peculiar reasons I would never think could make anyone fall in love with me but he says it makes him fall in love again.

I don’t know if you can fall in love with your baby but I experience these waves of love all the time. Then I love you again when you laugh to all the ladies at marcus’s office, wrinkle your little nose and they can’t believe that you just came back from your vaccination – you are not moody or crying, you are just happy little you, curious and beautiful

Then I put you on the floor of the car on the blankets your dad spread. We didn’t take your chair and I was picking up the car from his work so we had to come up with a way to drive you. And you are happy there and smile to me and I love you again and I love you when you fall asleep. I didn’t want to wake you up when we came back home. Now there is high tide and I could sneak pout for a little swim but I prefer to write this because there was so much love in me I had to spread it out and I am thinking I am crazy, when ever before I would have miss a swim in the lagoon to talk to someone and here I don’t even talk to you, I just write for you to read it, probably years and years down the road.

Well, love is strange and crazy. Can’t wait to talk to you, soon I hope you will be able to talk back. You seem to understand so much now and you know now about object permanence, when we hide something from you, you know it is still there, you look behind, you try to get to it. You also realise if something is too far for you to reach but as soon as something comes within your reach you will surely get you hands on it. And you are not even 6 months old yet.

Now I just can’t wait till you wake up, can’t wait till your dad comes back home!

Love you and this makes me so so happy