This week something happened. I will tell you about it because at some point it will be important for you to know.  We had to deal with this and because of what we feel for each other however difficult it seemed we went over it.

I never saw your dad so mad at another person, so outraged when he discovered someone wanted to hurt his woman. normally so sweet and good to every one, so gentle, he was mad and I was only glad that he did not get that guy in his hands because however I felt I did not want marcus to do anything which may do some psychological damage or regret or just change him.

i think what has happened might have happened for a reason and we can turn it into a positive experience.  in the end I was incredibly lucky, perhaps more than other young women or even girls may be.  I have you inside me my beautiful girl and I now know i will do everything to protect you from similar experiences.  Your dad is now so diligent about my security and he will be about yours.

There was some distance between us, it might have been because of feeling of guilt, because marcus was very sensitive about the issue and worried about being even close to me and perhaps bringing back the bad memories.  I knew though that I did not want this thing to bring us apart in any way, not even bring distance between us for a short time. I was worried too though, I did not know what to expect, how will my brain work, what associations my mind may do.  The moment that distance disappeared “the demons’ went away.  I think it is just one more proof how much we have and how strong it is.

Then we watched a movie, an Australian production ‘lantana’ which turned out to be really good, deep psychological portrait of few people, couple of relationships and about how we often mess up things and sometimes it is too late to get back what we have lost in the process.

Well we did not lose anything, not because of the external factor and I hope we never lose it by neglecting it changing, forgetting. “Never let anything bring us apart” i asked and your dad cuddled me and said “no and this is what marriage is for me, is making sure i can be with you forever so..get this bloody dress made”

So I should, shouldn’t I?