We are leaving Auckland behind sailing to Waiheke, an island that was a home to me for over 4years.

It is a beautiful spot on earth and i know i will miss it every now and then, hills padded with grass, vinyards, art galleries, blooming flax I used to learn how to weave from a Maori friend of mine. She would sing a karanga a little prayer to the flax bush before she would gather the leaves. I learned from her that the I ought to leave the 3 leaves in the middle intact alway as this is the family symbolising mother father and child and i should pick the outer leaves first and return any left over bits back to the flax bush. I loved the spirutuality of it and the gratefulness the karanga expressed.  It feels quite nostalgic leaving this place.

Marcus is here with me, he met my friends, ate with them ,slept in their homes which they opened to us. Everyone was pretty excited to see my tummy filled with you.  I carried you back to the places that were once close to me and will remain dear, i shared with Marcus and you views and smells and hopefully i can take more of it back sharing now those memories with marcus and knowing that you were there with us even though too tiny yet to be aware or remember them.

We walked to the Palm beach following my almost every day route and met a bunch of people many of whom i knew, playing drums and singing, dancing with fire pois, this is also a face of Waiheke i will sometimes miss. We had a night swim, the water was cold and the air seemed freezing in comparison to Rarotonga so we run out laughing to wrap ourselves in a big towel, then lay on the grass under a starry sky. There were fluorescent algeae in the water just a few. I didn’t want to say anything but i was hoping so much as we were driving to the beach that those little sparkles would be there for the two of you and sure enough as we splashed into the cold waves Marcus noticed them.

We swam with the dolphins too, they were on their way somewhere and the pod we joined did not stop for long but we swam right above them. It was a tour for which we were invited but even though there were other people around once you see these incredible creatueres everything else or almost everything else stops existing, you are there with them your attention totally drawn to this miracle of nature. The dolphins can sense the presence of the baby inside a person, isnt this amazing? Some time ago I wanted to swim with them to ask some questions, to look for signs and confirmation. Now I did not need this anymore.

My miracle happens right inside me and next to me, it is there when i am in the arms of your dad and when he touches my tummy with so much tenderness and i dont need to ask any questions. We experienced the dolphins together, we lay flat on the bowl of the boat leaning forward, hanging our heads right above the water, feeling the spray of the waves on our faces and almost touching the slippery bodies of the dolphines frolicking in the waves leading the boat, jumping out towards us. It was a pure joy and freedom.

The rest of the time is filled with work trying to sort out my past life. There is so much to do that this hardly feels like holiday. I am glad your dad met some friends who even though I hardly spoke to them for the last couple of years still proved to be reliable and caring. Hopefully you meet them too soon and unlike now will be able to interact with them.

While we were in Northland I got that beautiful loving letter from your grandparents Doris and Heiner. Our lives are now so full of people who mean a lot to both of us, for the first time it feels like I do not live my own seperate life with someone else but as I live one life with someone I trully love.

Soon there will be someoene else to share it with. I think you are slowly getting too big for me and even though so many people say how cute my tummy is, you can consider your first complements, couple of days ago a strange  lady in the shop started talking to me and said what a cute little tummy I have, well still I will be glad when you finally get out of there big girl and I now rather hold you in my arms then carry you pirouetting around in front of me, feels a bit like a medicine ball.  Hey Daddy bought a new really comfy mattress and will build a bed so I do not need to drag myself up from the mattress 5 times each night and so we both will be comfy when we sleep though it feels like just when I am about to goto sleep you start frolicking inside me doing some strange saltos, wish I knew what you do you little brat, well as long as you are having fun…

he ferry arrives soon, our last day in tne Land of the Long White Cloud,it was a long day … next time we come here you will be with us, next to me not inside me, taking everything in with baby’s wide open eyes. when will you start collecting memories? hen will thngs you see write in the tabula rasa of your mind? what will be your first memory?

hope one day this blog will become trully yours filled with your own memories and thoughts…